There is no doubt in my mind that life is hard and also that most adults behave like tall children. I remember being disappointed at my first big kid job when people were bickering at a meeting. This is it? This is as good as it gets? I can recognize that life is messy and complicated. Do not make it more so. The small amount of drama that exists in my life is plenty for me. I beg you please do not add any more. I mean this in the most all encompassing way. I need added drama less than I need added sugar.
Please do not text me and tell me you have something important to talk to me about, but that you don’t have time explain it right now. What? What? Give me a hint please or I will be aggravated. The same goes for cryptic voice mails or emails.
Do not expect me to comment on your super strange and non-specific Facebook posts. I get that you want attention, but you won’t get it from me. Life is short. Why would I waste time trying to figure out something you honestly want to be a secret. I get it. We all have secrets.
Do not yell at me. In fact, the world would be a better place if you never yelled at all. When you yell at me, all I hear is that you are angry about something. Those extra loud words have the same effect as screaming at someone who doesn’t speak English.
Similarly, when you call 911 and I arrive to help, please don’t make me ask you every last question you can think of before you tell me that you had a heart attack last year and it felt exactly the same. And if someone “falls out” because they were doing heroin please tell me that too. I try to bring a bit of calm with me at all times to balance out the drama your situation may provide.
Do not get me wrong. If you’re my friend I do actually care about you and what happens to you. But I’m also a pragmatist. If you want to do something about your problem, then I’m your gal. If you want to complain about your day or partner or job I might need a brief disclaimer before your rant gets started…otherwise I may try to help you solve your problem. But if you want me to play “guess my secret” then I am most defitinely not playing.