It’s in there

I used to be proud of the fact that I didn’t carry a purse.  They are girly and don’t really go well with a t-shirt and jeans. And really what’s in there anyway? At the time I was responsible for absolutely nothing. I had a wallet, that contained a student ID and maybe $5 at the most, that I kept in my back pocket of whatever jeans were clean and a tube of ChapStick that fit nicely right next to it. In college I also had a room key. I was ready for anything.

When I finally started to carry a purse I started out with a small size with the wallet and ChapStick and a whole set of keys because I had gained a house and a car.  Plus I always carry a key to my parent’s house.  I am not sure why I carry their keys, but I do.  In the past, I have used their key when I’m running errands and want a snack.  I know where they hide the good stuff.

A year later, I wanted to carry a few more things for a quick shopping trip.  Or maybe it was an item to return to a store.  I don’t remember and it’s not important.  Bottom line is there was no room in the small purse.  I upgraded and a slightly larger purse, but had a few more things that I wanted to carry…like that reusable shopping bag that I got as a gift for joining public radio. Then I was stung by a bee.  My mother is allergic bees so it shouldn’t come as a surprise that I am as well.  When I woke up the next morning I looked like a Simpsons character with a giant upper lip.  I got a prescription for an EpiPen.  Do you have any idea how large those things are? I got an even larger purse.

It’s really large and yes, it’s in there just like the 80s Prego commercial. It’s in there!

What is really in my purse these days? Just normal things that don’t fit in my pockets anymore: a pen or two or as many as I swipe on any given day, that reusable bag I was talking about so I can save the planet, sunglasses in a giant crushproof case, a checkbook (because you know if someone doesn’t take the two credit cards or I can’t find a cash machine then maybe I could write an IOU on a piece of carbon paper for them), Benedryl, ibuprofen, Tums, every ChapStick I can’t find at home (currently 4), dental floss, lotion, liquid hand sanitizer,  a few quarters, that damn EpiPen, lots of keys, lists of really important things that I may or may not pick up when I’m out of the house.

Make fun of it if you’d like.  Yes, I will hold your keys, cellphone, and wallet.

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2 thoughts on “It’s in there

  1. I’ve never seen you with a purse and we hang out sometimes? I also didn’t know you and your mom are allergic to bees. Have I really known you half our lives?

    1. Yes, it’s been over half of our lives. Wow. Where did the time go? I usually ditch my purse ASAP. All this means we should probably hang out more. It’s an omen.

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