You don’t look like a fireman

I hate it when people ask me what I do for a job. I just hate it.  I tell them I’m a firefighter and the words I most often here are “You don’t look like a fireman.” You’re right. I don’t.

Firstly, I’m not a man.  Nope.

I do not have any fire tattoos. Na uh. There is nothing wrong with them, they just aren’t for me.

My biceps are not bigger than my calves and I cannot tell you how much I lifted last time at the gym. I can tell you my half marathon PR and I can tell you that an adrenalin is powerful. And yes, I can pick you up.  No, I’m no going to do it now.

I do not drive a big truck.  I drive a Subaru (insert jokes here – I’ve heard them all before).  Sometimes I cannot find it in the parking lot at work and then I realize I am parked between two big trucks (i.e. lifted one ton diesel with a topper).  I told one guy my new fuel cost saving plan was for him to pull up in front of my house and I could pull my car into his truck and he could drive me to work.  He laughed. I was serious.

I do not own or wear any fire department shirts, jackets, or sweatshirts when I’m not at work. I take that back. I have an FDNY baseball cap I wear about once a year.

I do not spend my time yakking about saving this person or that one or that one at a fire I was at ages ago.  In my experience, more yakking equals less doing.

If we can get past this part of the conversation the following questions are:

Have you been to a fire?

When was the last one?

Have you ever saved anyone?

Has anyone ever died?

Do you ever drive the back of the truck?

Is it scary?

I answer these questions like a true fireman:  Yes, less than a month ago, yes, yes, yes, and sometimes.




One thought on “You don’t look like a fireman

  1. ‘Oooh, oooh, oooh, there go a firelady! Hey, firelady, you for real?’ Audre Lorde and Gloria Steinem would be so proud….

    Glad you’re sharing your (random-esque) musings, SMD/Y. Very glad we work together.

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